5 Valentine’s ideas for the Nihilist in your life


Let’s face it. Valentine’s Day is pretty gay. Yeah, I said it. It’s gay. And I mean that in a derogatory context, too. Gay. Gay. Gay.

Gay as in happy and joyful, of course, what did you think I meant?

If you’re a nihilist, gaiety can be just down right miserable.

But nihilism doesn’t have to demand a constant neglect of all things joyful. So, Nihilists, feel free to celebrate this Valentine’s. There’s never a good reason to avoid expressing messages of goodness toward one another, and Valentine’s is always a perfect excuse to do just that. Put your depression on hold for a day and spread some love.

Just get over it, Nihilists. Try being gay for a night. You might like it.

5 Valentine’s ideas for the Nihilist in your life:

5. Have a relaxing night at home

Stay home. The world is a dark and terrible place. Make a pasta dinner with wine, cheese and fresh fruits, smoke a bowl, snuggle up, and watch a movie together. If you can, never leave home again. Don’t forget to stock up on cocoa puffs and wear your softest sweatpants.

Some classic Nihilist films to feed your dread on such a disgustingly wonderful day: Fight Club, Harold and Maude, American Beauty, American Psycho, Donnie Darko, or my personal favorite

4. Be spontaneous

Spontaneity may be a Nihilist’s kryptonite as we don’t tend to engage well with the unknown, but we could all use a little kick in the pants every now and then to remind us why we haven’t turned out the lights yet. Though life may be pointless, a little enjoyment here and there never harmed anyone.

Get on the first ride out of town. Go to the airport and just hop the next flight out. With sites like airbnb, hostelworld, and couchsurfer, and ride share programs like lyft and uber, taking a quick weekend trip is entirely feasible on such short notice. If a place is big enough for an airport, there are bound to be easy options for transportation and lodging.

Or… be spontaneous in the bedroom. Talk about trying something new with your partner. Visit an adult website together if you need some ideas. Or you and your partner can peruse the shelves at the local sex shop. Buy something interesting. Get a toy, a costume, or a game. You’ll even get a little excited just looking at all there is to offer. And there is a lot to offer. People design and sell some of the oddest things.

3. Be reflective

If there’s one thing a Nihilist loves- I mean hates to love… it’s thinking. Sooner or later all thoughts lead down a dark, endless hole of despair. Ah, the bliss of ignorance. Those were happier times…

There’s no better way to get a good think on than to go on a walk. Go to your local park or city center. Get out into nature and see all the living-soon-to-be-dying things. Browse the local markets or grab a Cinnabon and people-watch at the local shopping mall. That’ll tickle your Nihilist pickle, and make you wish you were dead.

Or just start walking from the front steps of your home. Don’t go with a plan or a set direction. Just walk. See how far you go. You never know where you might end up. Could be in the dumpster at the end of a dark alley, or a gorge at the bottom of a rocky cliff. But don’t forget to enjoy the conversation and the scenery along the way!

Another reflective gesture is the gift of a book. But don’t just give a book. Give a book that you’ve already read and loved. Mark your favorite passage. Write an inscription. Explain how the book is so much better than the movie. If it’s a used book, it’ll have all the more character. It’ll be like gifting a story within a story.

If you want to gift a new book, might I suggest F**k it: The Ultimate Spiritual Way or, the aptly priced at $6.66, Neo-Nihilism: The Philosophy of Power.

Of course there are always more ‘hallucin-esque’ activities if you have the means and resources that are plenty reflective and romantic as well.

2. Be generous

Instead of spending on a date or a gift, there is no better way to warm a cold Nihilist heart giving to a good cause. You can donate to a charity, for example. There are plenty of good charities you can donate to from the web that are always in need. Or you can always find good local foundations and donate directly to your community.

You could also volunteer your time. Spend a few hours at the humane society. The animals always need someone to take them out for a little bit. You can serve at a local kitchen, spend time with the elderly at nursing homes or with sick children and wounded veterans at an area hospital. Nothing beats giving someone else your attention, time, and energy.

You can always browse crowdfunding sites, too. Oftentimes, if you donate enough money, you can get some pretty interesting gifts in return. Helping someone else’s dream come true will grow your shrinking heart to two sizes too big.

1. Be creative

When Nihilists aren’t contemplating our lack of purpose in the universe, we’re probably expressing ourselves creatively with art and culture. Pick a medium and make something with your partner. You could try painting each other’s portrait without looking at the canvas, or you could write a poem about how much you loathe one another. Art kits and packages are easy and simple if you’re not an art hobbyist, but still interested in making it a romantic activity. Try something like this from Art 101 or this one from Royal and Langnickel if a built-in easel sounds appealing.

Or take your art on the road. Make it an outdoor activity at the park or in the square. Get inspired at a museum or a local university. Just get out and live your life, even if there is no point.

Valentine’s is really like any other day if you’re a Nihilist, pointless. But hey, give feeling good a shot for a change. You can brood any day. Valentine’s happens once a year.


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